satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
Homophoniacs
The amber candlelight flickered, and the shadowed daggers nicked their faces as they sipped wine in the Cafe Americana. Amy and Grant viewed themselves as close seconds to Hugh Grant and Renee Zellwinger. Their strong egos, and too much alcohol, enhanced the illusion. Three emptied vino bottles proved the validity of their case most nights.
By J. S. Wade4 years ago in Humans
Winter Vest Wearing Man Found Dead of Frostbite
A man wearing a winter vest was found dead of frostbite this morning near the sleepy town of Chenowith Hills, OH. Paramedics who responded to the seen reported that the man’s arms had frozen solid, completely cutting of normal circulation. “Perhaps not surprisingly for a winter vest wearing individual, the man’s back, chest, and stomach remained warm the entire time, but unfortunately it simply was not enough to stave off the bitter cold that ultimately killed him” said paramedic Tom Stevens, the first to arrive at the scene. Mr. Stevens continued “Let this serve as a warning to others who might consider a winter vest warm enough to protect you during the winter. That is simply not the case, and it is all too easy to be lulled into a false sense of security by the warmth you feel in your mid upper body. Never forget that with a winter vest on your arms are completely exposed to the elements.” After a brief pause Mr. Stevens concluded “Now that I think about the entire idea of a winter vest really doesn’t make a lot of sense does it?” The man’s family has said that he and his vest will be cremated next Tuesday and Chenowith Hills Funeral Home on East Main St. near the Dairy Queen.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Humans
The SWAMP Joke project.
The SWAMP Joke project. As a writing exercise, I want to see IF I could write racist jokes. Obviously, as a Straight White Alpha Male Privileged and as a liberal, I don’t want to write racist jokes but as a writer wanting to stretch themselves, I do.
By Ross E Fortune Lombardi4 years ago in Humans
How To Hire Good Copywriters & Content Writers, Probably
Is your business ready to take the plunge and hire a writer? Congratulations! This is an enormous positive step in the right direction, as it means you are well positioned to leverage the bountiful gobs of cash on offer if you tickle the udders of the great Google algorithm just right for that sweet, sweet ad revenue and SEO linkage.
By Tony White5 years ago in Humans
British people who say ‘asshole’ instead of ‘arsehole’ are ‘massive t**ts’ finds study
A study exploring the ever-evolving quirks of British speakers of the English language has confirmed that those who choose to say the invasive American ‘asshole’ over the classic British ‘arsehole’ are ‘massive twats of the highest order’.
By jamie harding5 years ago in Humans
The 7 Emotional Abuse That Narcissists Inflict On Their Supply
Narcissistic abuse can be a tricky form of abuse to hone in on — and this is most often due to how sneaky the attacks are. Narcissists will not attack you physically because it may hurt their image.
By Frederick Emerson5 years ago in Humans
Hieronymus
I. Tragic dying mess, an endless flow in the veins of the mind, we spill forth unto the world, crushingly. We are a blur, the smallest invention, lost to indifference, and what becomes of the stars and the world fixed perfectly between our infinitesimal eyes? Our thoughts are worn, conflicted, and idiosyncratic—melting and blending into the abstractions of memory in the form of repeating devastation. Oh, how the mind churns on itself, inwardly, never capable of capturing the infinite reaches of life! We are tired, yet we are always moving, and there is nothing in the sky, and everything is already here. Everything is already made, waiting to be destroyed; repeat, system. Decay holds so much consecrated beauty! All tangible things of tragic lust and abusive blood, lost explosions we can never see, lost exploding hearts we fail to feel. We sense the loss, and we asphyxiate in ambrosial arches, bending the mind beyond distant dreams, carrying that ephemeral disease of subconscious oceans of colors! We cannot control our erratic hearts, our nasty little habits that flow with temptation. We experience the void and all that derives from it. Lascivious feelings, invisible touches, and false promises, chiseled deep in the symposium of fading, desirable dreams. Is this our only world? Are we surfacing from our abandoned and quivering bodies, in its own fortress of nothingness, never reaching past dying angels? Can we burn? Can we trace starlight scars? Can we finally become and make one less singular error in common places?
By Justin Fong Cruz5 years ago in Humans
Wilson
When you feel that plummeting exhaustion, plan a trip to New York City and hope the change of scenery will dispel the disquietude that clenches in your body. Blame the isolation of the pandemic for the heightening sense of anxiety that is advancing on you as insidiously as middle age. Convince yourself that Covid is an acceptable excuse, a blanket defense, then recognize that this is specious reasoning but concede anyway because it’s easier than frisking the fringes of your psyche for some other plausible cause. Ignore, with an olympic strength, the idea that some ruinous neurosis is lurking behind your fear.
By Anissa Bejaoui5 years ago in Humans
