Messiah

You have to knock louder, my dear. I can't hear beyond the thunder of the door. I won't believe you actually mean it. Because you have to want it more. You became home to me and I fear when it's going to end. I conspire against myself in hopes the truth will bend. You're the therapy I actually benefit from, the doubt that gets removed. I run to the sound of your echoes while I climb out of this tomb. I was searching for you but were you looking for me? Did you pin all your hope on a future while you waited for me? I don't want to escape, I want to run away with you. With your hand in mine, we can witness everything brand new. I've learned to live with distorted self-esteem. Where I couldn't possibly be worth anything. To measure up with what I expect you'd want and need. To be everything wrapped up in a peaceful dream. To be enough, to be the one to make you happy. Where I prove myself and land at your feet. Why can't I just be myself and hope for the best? Because I'm afraid I will always be -less. There's a part of me that lives in constant fear. That I speak in a language you couldn't possibly hear. I cannot control how you view me, my love. All I can do is continue to love you and hope its enough. My attempts at happiness are few in between. My efforts at evolution are always unseen. I crave the safety of consistent and stable arms. I yearn for the freedom that lies in your peaceful and loving heart