I Don't Trust Systems Anymore

I don’t trust systems anymore.

I used to be afraid to say that out loud.

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Because for a long time, everything did seem connected.

Effort led to outcome,

While action led to result.

Cause led to effect,

And so it went.

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The ideas I was raised on

Shaped how my days were organized.

Instructions pointed somewhere,

While expectations suggested progress.

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Nothing about that felt uncertain.

It felt responsible,

Like I was a proper participant.

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Then the pattern cracked.

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Effort stopped matching results.

Work piled up without yielding progress.

Outcomes appeared without a clear cause.

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Explanations remained ever available.

They always do.

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They didn’t fix the world for me.

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Some experiences refused to fit.

Work led me nowhere.

Requests went unanswered.

Results arrived without any visible connection to what came before them.

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And at a certain point, the structure crumbled.

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My life as a participant didn’t stop.

These systems still shape my daily life.

I cannot step outside of them.

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What changed were my expectations.

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I no longer assume fairness

Or expect protection.

I no longer believe correct actions guarantee a result.

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Attention replaced belief.

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So patterns matter more than promises,

And observed outcomes carry more weight than instructions.

Adjustment works better than persistence when something clearly fails.

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This approach demands more awareness.

It removes the comfort of assuming things will work simply because they are supposed to.

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It also aligns with what is actually there.

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The systems remain.

They can be used

And navigated.

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But trust is no longer part of the arrangement.