Happy Wife, Happy Life

My wife has chose to keep me since I’ve mastered all her needs

I’ve learned her moods are measured by how frequently she feeds

Her favorite meal is breakfast and she likes her bacon firm

Once, I undercooked it, her expression made me squirm

I never try to rush her when it’s clear we’re running late

Studies show that’s when divorces reach a higher rate

Not every disagreement is a reason for a fight

It’s better just to recognize that PEACE beats being right

Sometimes when she starts venting I won’t say a single word

She’s not asking my advice, she’s just wanting to be heard

The buddies that I golf with are the best, I’ve gotta say

After dropping me at home they know how long to stay away

I learned to trust in God the day she asked if she looked fat

I tried to speak when God Himself yelled, “DUDE DON’T ANSWER THAT“

He said, “Marriages take effort, you don’t want yours heading south

When husbands trust in Me I’ll put some “shut up” in their mouth”