Drive Me Mad

I woke up the day of my movie date with Courtney and Zane feeling more energized and healthier than I had in a long time; I'd recently started making a smoothie for breakfast - mixed frozen berries, strawberry Kefir, grape juice, and strawberry kiwi juice. Not only were they helping with my stomach issues, but they also helped make me feel more awake and increased my vitality.

When I checked my phone, I saw that I had a text from Courtney asking if we were on for the 4:30 showing of Wuthering Heights. I responded that I hadn't heard from Zane yet, but that I was down to go either way; I started getting ready immediately after my morning smoothie, excited to spend time with my cousin and dying to see the movie again, this time on the big screen and not in a less than perfect quality. Zane messaged me while I was moisturizing, saying he had just woken up and that he was showering and then headed my way. I relayed the message to Courtney, who said she would be meeting us there. Zane said that he would pick me up; I had planned on driving, but I wasn't going to turn down an offer to be a passenger princess.

The hardest part for me was picking an outfit. It was warmer than it had been in a while, but I knew that I had a propensity to get cold at even the slightest provocation. My first item was my fishnet Andrew Christian briefs; I sent Zane a picture, which he liked. I tried on a strawberry-colored cable knit sweater from the Gap, but I didn't like how casual it was; I didn't do casual often, especially when I wasn't home. My next option was the tan jumpsuit I'd bought the year previously from Romper Jack for my cat Cersei's funeral; unfortunately, it was still a little snug in the midsection, and I couldn't help but fret that if my stomach acted up at all, I'd have to basically remove the jumpsuit in order to relieve myself; in a crisis that would not do. Zane sent me a snap of him getting ready to leave, once again he was wearing a black mesh top and his olive-green dress pants. I suddenly remembered that I had a shirt similar to Zane's that I'd gotten from Aeropostale. I quickly tore through my garment racks until I found it. I added a few leather bracelets to add flair; it was about as simple as I could do. The ensemble was topped off with a pair of salmon colored dress pants and my dress boots.

When Zane got to my apartment, I was ready. Stepping outside, he looked at me and smiled. I got into his car and he said, "that kind of looks like my shirt."

"I know," I replied, "I figured I'd show you how it was supposed to look."

Obviously, I was kidding. Nobody would ever accuse me of being more attractive than Zane but acting like a sassy brat was the norm around him and I saw no reason to change that. I figured that by then he had figured out that I was mostly joking when I said outrageous things.

When we were close to Bay City Courtney texted to tell me that she was at the mall already and was wandering around PetSmart; I relayed the message to Zane and gave him a devilish grin. "You can buy me a new cat!" I exclaimed, thinking about the poor cats I saw every time I went to PetSmart; it was always a struggle not to adopt at least one per trip.

"You have too many cats already," he pointed out, smiling.

"Alistair died last month," I challenged, "and Romana could be going soon, too, I'm not sure. She's been hiding in a tote lately, I'm worried about her."

"You should wait awhile before you think about getting a new cat. Besides, I still don't have a job, I don't have an extra $100 to buy you a cat."

I knew that what he was saying was logical, but I did really want the rush of dopamine from adopting a cat. Luckily, when we got to PetSmart, there were no cats there, they'd all been adopted. I texted Courtney to let her know we were there; she said she was in the mall now. We hurried in; there were ten minutes until the movie was supposed to start. I wasn't sure how many people would be in the theater, but I hated walking into a packed cinema; it spiked my anxiety and made me feel like I was being suffocated.

I spotted Courtney from a distance and pulled Zane toward her. Courtney introduced herself before I launched into my prepared speech: "She's six months older than I am."

"Six months, pretty much to the day," Courtney agreed.

"Six months and two days."

"We're total opposites," she continued as we started walking back toward the theater.

"Yeah, she's nice, I'm a bitch. She's country, I'm a city gal. She's masculine, I'm feminine."

Zane seemed to be handling his introduction to Courtney pretty well; he'd recently told me that he wasn't much of a people person and that he was incredibly awkward around new people. Honestly, I was shocked; he seemed like a normal, social butterfly to me. I was the one who struggled to assimilate around new people and ended up saying off-the-wall things to be funny, only succeeding in making myself look even weirder than I actually was.

Zane stepped up to the ticket booth while I talked to Courtney. "Did you get your tickets already?" she asked, fishing hers out of her purse.

"No. He's got it," I replied, half-joking. We hadn't discussed whether this was a date or just a hang out, nor who would be paying, but I had brought cash just in case. Knowing that Zane still didn't have a job and wasn't receiving unemployment or severance pay, I would have completely understood if he was being frugal with his limited funds.

"Babs!" Courtney gasped, smiling, "you are such a brat!"

Courtney's boyfriend, Greg, ordered at least once a week from me. He had taken to calling me Babs, presumably after the legendary Barbra Streisand. While my nose was nowhere as big as hers, and I couldn't hold a tune to save my life, Barbra Streisand was one of my legendary divas; I took the compliment with pride.

"I think he likes it when I'm a brat," I snickered, grinning as Zane turned around and asked what movie we were seeing.

"Wuthering Heights," Courtney responded.

"You don't even remember what movie we're seeing!?" I acted affronted; I hadn't shut up about Wuthering Heights since I'd first seen the movie two weeks previously; I'd devoured the book and harbored a deep obsession with Heathcliff.

"I forgot what it was called," Zane said, shaking his head at my dramatics.

A minute later, Zane came over with a big bucket of popcorn and handed me a ticket. "Thank you!" I said, grinning. We headed into the empty theater and sat down; I was in the middle with Courtney on my left and Zane on my right.

I was interested to see what Courtney would think of the movie. She'd read Wuthering Heights in high school; it was one of her favorite books. Having now read the book myself, I knew just how different the movie was from the book. I had assumed the book had ended - like the movie - after Cathy died; in reality, Cathy dies about halfway through the book; the second volume of the novel details Heathcliff's insidious actions toward Cathy's daughter - also Cathy - as well as his dealings with his son, Linton.

Early in the movie, there was a scene where Cathy - played to perfection by the stunning Margot Robbie - was dramatically extolling how the new neighbors - the Lintons - had not called on her to make her acquaintance. She noted that Edgar Linton would probably fall in love with her; Heathcliff - Sexy Daddy Jacob Elordi - who was not so secretly in love with her, lifted her up and set her on a low hanging tree branch. Cathy started complaining about how she couldn't get down in her skirts and when Heathcliff suggested removing them, she acted affronted and exclaimed that she would fall out of the tree and die. Courtney, giggling, turned to me and whispered, "Babs, that's you!" I couldn't even be offended; I was well aware that I'd been raised to be a prissy brat and that I was incredibly dramatic. As much as I loved the character of Heathcliff, in this version at least, I was Cathy.

About three quarters of the way through the movie, Heathcliff found out that Cathy was pregnant; sneaking into her house that night, he asked her if it was his. Cathy assured him that the child belonged to her husband; Cathy had recently ended their passionate affair, but at Heathcliff's touch, melted in his hands. While they had sex, Zane moved his hand from my thigh and started stroking my cock through my pants. Thankfully, I had my messenger bag set on my lap so that Courtney - and hopefully the cameras - wouldn't see. It felt good for the most part, but my underwear was starting to dig into my sensitive bits; it was not a pleasant sensation.

As soon as the movie was over I rushed to the bathroom to relieve myself; I'd snuck a Vitamin water in my messenger bag and refused to miss a second of the movie to pee. Normally, I can't pee if someone else is in the bathroom with me, but even with Zane at the next urinal, I was able to get the job done. I wasn't sure if it was because I was getting comfortable with him or if my bladder was just so full that I didn't care about anything other than emptying it.

Courtney walked with us out to the car before hugging us and heading on her way. I had shopping to do - the main reason I'd expected to drive - so we headed across the street to Walmart. "Didn't you just love that movie!?" I gushed, feeling high from the beauty of it all.

"It was okay," Zane replied. "The music made it seem like a horror movie. It was very off-putting."

"That's the point. At least it wasn't like the version I watched last night where the sound was all wonky and ethereal the entire movie."

"They were both incredibly toxic."

"But it's such a beautiful love story!" I gushed, in my feelings. "Obsessive love is so powerful!"

"I'd have liked it better if they'd at least ended up together at the end," Zane continued.

"They do in the book. After Heathcliff dies, he and Cathy haunt the moors. Ugh, it's one of my favorite movies!"

"You need help," Zane teased, shaking his head. "I'll stick with Pride & Prejudice."

Throughout Walmart, I explained the differences between the book and the movie, as well as what had happened after Cathy's death in the book. Zane was kind enough to listen, but he probably wanted to sew my lips shut. I wasn't sure why Wuthering Heights had resonated so strongly with me, but it spoke to my soul in a way that few of the classics ever had.

On our way back to the car, Zane asked if I wanted to go get dinner somewhere. "Are you paying?" I teased, throwing my bags into the backseat of his car.

"Yes," he replied, taking the cart back to the corral.

"Then yes."

"Where do you want to go?"

I quickly tried to remember all of the restaurants in that part of Bay City. "There's Burger King, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Arby's Wendy's, Rally's, Panda Express, Chipotle, Applebee's..."

"Want to go to Applebee's?"

"Not really."

"Why not? I love Applebee's."

"My friend Addison told me someone found a worm in their steak there and the restaurant claimed it was a tendon."

"So don't order a steak," he challenged, "get something else."

"The last time I went there they didn't even have the one thing that I liked."

"What was it?"

"The oriental chicken wrap."

"We can go to Panda Express," he offered, starting the car.

"If you want. It's across the street. I have more shopping to do, though."

"We can come back."

As I navigated Zane across town to Meijer, I couldn't help but wonder what he even saw in me. I was a thirty-five-year-old brat who treated him more like my servant than my lover. Sure, I was mostly kidding, but still, how long would it be before he got sick of it?

We were halfway through Meijer - my mouth going nonstop - when he turned to me and said, "Do you ever stop talking?"

I knew that he was - mostly - kidding, but a small part of me was wounded regardless. I was well aware that when I was out in public with someone I was comfortable with - and excited - I tended to talk a lot. Courtney and I had gone to a few Comic Cons together; I'd seen how over me she was by the time we got home. I didn't do it on purpose; it was just how I coped with being overstimulated.

I decided then and there to show him just how much of a brat I truly was; I stopped talking. He kept trying to get me to talk, but I just shrugged and clamped my lips shut. I decided to be an even bigger brat and hand him a Hermione Granger Funko Pop to buy for me.

I didn't talk on the short drive to Panda Express, nor the whole time we ate dinner. By then, he was laughing about it and asking me what he had to do to make it up to me; he said that he'd been joking and that he didn't want me to pout. Still, I committed to the bit and ate my dinner in silence, glaring at him as I ate my orange chicken and fried rice. I hadn't been to Panda Express in a few years; I'd forgotten just how much I liked it. Sure, it was 'fast food' Chinese, but Chinese food is Chinese food in my book, and it was much better than the frozen meals at the store.

As we headed back to my place, Zane said, "I don't know how to get back to your place...you're going to have to talk now." I quickly typed my address into Google Maps, which made him laugh and roll his eyes. He snatched my phone out of my hands, putting it in his coat pocket. "Now you really have to talk to me." Not to be outdone, I resorted to pointing all the way home.

As soon as we pulled up outside my apartment, I was out of the car and rushing to the door to unlock it; normally I would just grab my grocery bags and unlock the door, but I had also bought a forty pound bag of cat litter; I didn't want to have to pick it up again once I'd already hefted it into my arms. As I got the door open, I turned back to see that Zane had everything - including the cat litter - in his arms. He breezed past me and set everything down by the doorway. If I had actually been mad at him for his comment, that would have made up for it, but still, I decided to carry on being silent.

I put the groceries away before pulling my paisley chair in front of the TV and turning on my PS4. I didn't want Zane to leave yet, but I also knew that he wouldn't leave, even if I ignored him for a bit. He'd seemed to enjoy watching me play Resident Evil 7 the other night; I figured it was an appropriate course of action.

Before I could drop into the chair, Zane dashed in front of me and sat down. Unperturbed, I sat on his lap, pretending like it was perfectly normal. I had only made it a few minutes into the game when he reached around to the front of my pants and starting rubbing my cock. I tried to ignore it, but, as I grew hard, I found it difficult to focus on the game. Zane undid the button and my zipper, but was perplexed on how to get the second button undone, he also wanted my shoes off. I stood up and undid the final button while he pulled my shoes off. I crossed to the bed and lay there as he pulled the salmon-colored dress pants down before stripping down to his panties and climbing into the bed.

He started sucking my cock, his eyes closed in pleasure. I enjoyed watching as his lips grew plump with blood, swollen from his efforts. After a couple of minutes, I pushed him down onto his back and then straddled his chest. With one hand I held his arms up over his head, twined with the bars of the headboard, while the other held my phone, filming. I thrust my cock into his mouth and started fucking it. Zane was a trooper and did his best; I was incredibly turned on when he started to gag on it and needed to take a second to breathe. Finally, I ended up on my back again before finishing in his mouth.

As I lay there in the daze of the afterglow, Zane got on top of me - naked now. His hard cock was in the vicinity of my hole; he started dry humping me, his breath growing ragged as he got even more turned on. "I really want to fuck you," he groaned, his eyes burning with lust. "Can I?"

I said nothing, just stared into his eyes with a blank expression on my face.

"I admire your commitment to the bit," he said, laughing, before thrusting against me once more.

Part of me was tempted to let him try fucking me; after all, it had to happen sometime, right? But the fear of pain and not being able to go through with it kept me in check. I'd feel awful if I told him he could fuck me but then stopped once he was a little bit inside of me. Besides, we were still in that gray area where we were going on sporadic dates, but not dating. I wanted to save my anal virginity for someone I was dating, someone I loved.

I let Zane dry hump me for a while before he told me to roll over. He rubbed lotion on my back before he started to tongue my ass while I buried my face in the pillow. I completely trusted Zane not to do anything without consent; if I happened to fall asleep while he ate me out, I didn't have to worry about him deciding to stick anything inside of me. I moved to sit on his face for a while - until my hips started to ache - and then lay on my back, looking at him.

I decided to put him out of his misery. As he lay next to me jerking off, I dug out the lube and my pocket pussy. When I'd bought the pocket pussy, I hadn't been aware that it was a vagina - I was high and thinking with my dick more than my brain. The first time I'd used it, I'd had to stop, finding it too overstimulating; I'd grown to like it, though I rarely used it anymore. I figured it was the closest thing to an ass Zane was going to get that night.

After I lubed up his cock, I tried to slide the pocket pussy onto it, but the head of his dick was so thick that it resisted; with some effort and ease I was able to get it in. Zane sighed with pleasure as I started moving it up and down on his shaft, delighting in each pant and whimper. I increased the speed and tightness until he came, throwing his head back in pleasure.

While Zane wet a washcloth and cleaned the lube off of his dick, I tried to pee, but this time, nothing would come out. As he finished, he stood behind me, smirking. "Want me to hold it for you?" he teased. The more I tried to push it out, the more it stayed frozen. "Aw, are you shy?" When Zane went back to the bed, I finally was able to pee - curse my bladder!

After that, I went back to my game while Zane watched. When he asked questions, I replied, figuring that the bit had gone on quite long enough. I still couldn't believe that Zane had never played a Resident Evil game before; sure, he wasn't much of a gamer, but the Resident Evil games are required - in my opinion - for even the most casual of gamers.

Zane stood up and started getting dressed. "I should get going," he announced, pulling pants back on. I had assumed that he was going to stay the night again, but I wasn't mad that he was leaving. I never slept better than when I had the bed to myself, well, besides the cats. My babies were so used to it being just us that both times Zane had stayed the night, they'd all slept elsewhere until he had left.

I paused the game to walk him out. We weren't official or anything, but I thought it would be rude to just keep gaming and let him show himself out. After all, he had taken me to a movie and dinner, as well as bought me a Princess Peach plush and the Hermione Granger Funko Pop, as well as carried in all of my groceries. The least I could do was walk him out and say goodbye properly, giving him my full attention.

Even though he'd been eating my ass for quite a while, I still gave him a kiss before he left. Part of me was relieved that he was leaving so that my routine would still be intact; it wasn't that I didn't like having him around, but when he was at my place, my routines had to take a backseat. It was nowhere near the end of the world, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find comfort in the rhythm of my routines. I wasn't sure how that would fare in a relationship, but after being single for thirty-five years, any deviation from my norm was going to be a struggle and a work in progress.

Later, ass I breezed through the copy of Frankenstein that Zane had picked up for me, I decided to try reading more of the classics. I had a copy of Les Misérables but doubted that I'd ever be able to finish it. With a little work, I could dig out my copy of Anna Karenina and finally finish that; I'd started it in my early twenties but had been sidetracked. On a whim, I checked Amazon and found that they had several of the classics for very cheap; I decided to buy Pride & Prejudice, Madame Bovary, and Jane Eyre. Zane was excited when I told him about it; he said that Pride & Prejudice was one of his favorite movies - the Keira Knightley version - and that I'd love it as it was like Wuthering Heights, but wholesome. I wanted to point out that nothing about me is wholesome but let him be happy that we would have something do together; Zane said that after I finished reading it, we could watch the movie together. I'd read Pride & Prejudice and Zombies shortly after graduating high school, but something told me that the original would be much, much different.

There are a few movies coming out soon that I'd like to go see with Zane. The preview for Ready or Not 2 had played for us in the theater; even if Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn't in it, I'd still want to see it, but I'd probably wait until it was available to stream. Of course, Zane had never seen the first one, so I vowed to make him watch it with me - even though I'd just rewatched it a month or so ago. I also really want to see The Bride! even though the reviews have been less than stellar; I'll probably wait until that one is on the torrent site. This might come a shock to no one, but I am desperately excited for The Devil Wears Prada 2; I have been in love with Meryl Streep since I was Mamma Mia! back in high school. The preview for The Devil Wears Prada 2 also played for us that day; I was so relieved when Zack knew about the original - maybe I wouldn't have to teach him everything after all.

Zane and I talk every day, though it's not always long conversations; sometimes it's just a few snaps, which is fine with me. I know he's struggling with his mental health right now and I'm not looking to give up all of my free time, so whatever is going on between us is working - at least for me. I hope that he'll be able to find a job soon so that he can feel better about himself; I know that if I lost my job I would be inconsolable. Not only am I terrible around new people, I also honestly don't know what other job I could do; aside from taking orders, ringing people up, and making food I don't have any other skills. I really wouldn't want to go work in another food service job either; it was only supposed to be temporary - to appease my grandma - but as I grew comfortable and competent at the job it became a benefit for me. Ideally, I'd like to be able to commit myself to writing full-time, but I know that that isn't a possibility for me, at least not right now.

As winter dies around us, I'm hopeful for what spring will bring. Zack likes to go for walks; we could go to the Tridge in Midland or even Nayanquing Point here in Pinconning. Motor City Comic Con comes to Novi in May; Courtney and I used to go together, but it would be nice to go with Zane. The drive isn't bad and it's cheap to get it; there aren't many celebrities I want to meet this time around, so I wouldn't end up spending a fortune on autographs and photo ops. Tyler Hoechlin and Bitsie Tulloch will be there, but I was able to get their autographs during the pandemic via virtual cons, so I could instead spend money on getting autographs from Tyler Posey and Nolan Forth; we'll see, though. There isn't anyone on the guest list that I absolutely have to see; I wish Zane had been around in November for the last Motor City Comic Con when Holly Marie Combs and Rose McGowan from Charmed were there. I'd have loved to meet them and tell them how obsessed I was with Charmed growing up and how much Shannen Doherty's passing and legacy meant to me.

The Midland Center for the Arts was supposed to host a production of Legally Blonde the Musical that Zane and I were looking forward to going to, but it looks like it got cancelled; it no longer shows up on the schedule of events on their website. They did add A Midsummer Night's Dream in June that I might be able to drag Zane too; I'm not familiar with the play, but it's Shakespeare, so how bad could it be?

Zane has mentioned a few times that he likes camping and that he wants us to go camping together; honestly, I'm not sure about that one. I don't mind going for a walk in the woods, but other than that, I don't really like being outside. The idea of being without a shower, AC, and electricity does not sound like a good time to me - at all. Now that Clara is eleven and Romana is ten and a half, I really don't want to be gone overnight, either. I'd feel awful if I came home to find one of my babies dead; I've lost three cats in the last three years. Romana and I have been practically inseparable since she was born; the idea of her dying alone tears me apart. Even if none of the cats died then, but shortly after, I'd regret missing time with them. Just like how I went into work to cut ham the day before Alistair died; had I known he was going to die the next day, I'd have stayed in bed and held him. I know some people might find my attachment to my cats to be unhealthy, but I don't care; they're everything to me, as I am to them.

One of these days I am going to have to bite the bullet and visit Zane at his house. He has five cats and dogs as well as chickens; I'm not overly excited at the prospect of meeting his roommate/friend Gabby and her boyfriend - anxiety - and I am certainly not looking forward to meeting the chickens. Zane has sent me a few snap videos of his chickens - they're all named after drag queens - and for some reason they creep me out; maybe it's hearing my grandma talk about her days as child on a farm and how mean the chickens she had to tend with were. I hope one day I can be normal enough to do things with Zane without having a mini mental breakdown inside; it isn't fair to expect him to come to me every time, nor is it fair to not do the things that he likes, too. I'm hoping that if he sticks around, I'll get comfortable enough that I'll be more willing to venture out of my cave for him.